Talk to Me: Elicitation Skills That Actually Work
Christopher Hadnagy
CEO of Social-Engineer, LLC
Most conversations never get to the truth. Here’s how to change that.
You ask a candidate why they left their last job and get a polished answer that tells you nothing. You ask a prospect what’s really holding up the deal and hear “we just need more time.” You ask your team if the project is on track and everyone nods. Three weeks later, you find out it never was.
It’s not that you asked the wrong question. It’s that you asked a question at all. The moment people feel questioned, they get careful. They give the safe answer, the rehearsed answer, the one that protects them.
So you make decisions on half the story. That’s how good hires go bad, deals die for reasons nobody told you, and small problems stay hidden until they’re expensive.
Most of us were never taught another way. We were told to “ask open-ended questions” and “listen actively,” then left to figure out the rest. So we push harder and get less.
Elicitation changes that. It’s the skill of creating conversations where people want to share, without feeling pressured or managed. Get it right, and you stop guessing and start knowing.
Better information leads to better decisions. That starts with better conversations.
What you’ll learn
Learn to get people talking without them feeling questioned. Walk away the person everyone opens up to, in every meeting and negotiation.
Frame your goal, read the person, and map your approach before you say a word, in an interview, a sales call, or a hard talk at home.
Use an opener that answers the four questions everyone silently asks, and plan your exit so conversations never end awkwardly.
Use reflective, open, and leading questions, deliberate false statements, and self-disclosure to draw out what people hold back.
Separate how you feel from how you need to feel, so tough conversations get you answers instead of arguments.
End with trust intact, remember the details that matter, and follow up in a way that opens the door for next time.
Spot when someone uses ego, flattery, fear, or family to pull information from you, and protect it without being rude.
Workshop agenda
What Elicitation Really Is
Why direct questions shut people down The three rules: be natural, be educated, don’t be greedy Real examples of conversations that got the safe answer
Step 1: Frame Your Goal
Get clear on what you need and why How you feel vs. how you need to feel to get there Exercise: frame the goal for a real conversation you have coming up
Step 2: Observe Before You Engage
Read mood, context, and what’s going on for the other person Choose the approach most likely to work Exercise: pick your approach and explain why
Step 3: Plan Your Opener and Your Exit
The four questions every opener must answer Why every conversation needs an exit plan Exercise: write your opener and test it in pairs
Step 4: Drive the Conversation
Reflective, open, closed, and leading questions Deliberate false statements and mutual self-disclosure Real recorded calls showing each technique Live pair practice with feedback
Steps 5 and 6: Listen and Remember
Active listening that keeps people talking Why remembering names and details matters so much Exercise: listening and recall drill
Step 7: Leave Them Feeling Better
End so the person is glad they talked to you Follow-up that builds trust for next time Exercise: a full conversation using all 7 steps
When It’s Being Done to You
How ego, flattery, fear, and family get used to pull information How personal stories lead to oversharing Protecting information without being rude
Wrap-up and Q&A
Plan your next important conversation using the 7 steps Complete your workshop reflection Open Q&A
Learn directly from Christopher
Christopher Hadnagy
Trained SOCOM, the Pentagon, MI5 and MI6. 5 books. 16 years reading people.
Who this workshop is for
The People Leader: Managers, HR, and recruiters tired of rehearsed answers who want the real story without seeming pushy or suspicious.
The Deal Maker: Sales pros, founders, and negotiators who want to uncover real objections and motives before deals stall or die.
The Information Gatherer: Investigators, security, and fraud pros who need answers people won’t give directly, and to protect their own.
What's included
Live sessions
Learn directly from Christopher Hadnagy in a real-time, interactive format.
Lifetime access
Go back to course content and recordings whenever you need to.
Community of peers
Stay accountable and share insights with like-minded professionals.
Certificate of completion
Share your new skills with your employer or on LinkedIn.
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