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Relationship Skills for All Genders and Orientations

4.7

(3 ratings)

·

11 Weeks

·

Cohort-based Course

Please join me to learn the best skills and interventions to keep your relationship(s) healthy and happy in this six part workshop.

Course overview

Describe the transformation students will have in your course

I will teach you the best evidence-based skills and interventions to keep your relationships happy and healthy. You will practice these skills to develop good habits to prevent problems from spiraling and to keep the communication flowing in the right direction.


This first Module in my series is called “The Groundwork.” I will be teaching you how to do basic cleanup and regular fine-tuning on your communication, and what yellow or red flags to look out for.


You will learn along with others who are invested in improving their relationships and you will learn from me and we will learn from one another!

For people of all genders and orientations who want to learn the best relationship skills to improve and protect your relationship(s).

01

You are queer, poly, kinky, or transgender (or in a relationship with someone who identifies this way), and you want a safe learning space.

02

You are vanilla, monogamous, heterosexual, or cisgender and you are excited to work along with a diverse group of people.

03

You're in a new relationship & you want to keep the good stuff flowing! Or you're single and seeking tools to improve future relationships.

What you’ll get out of this course

Learn about Flooding (Diffuse Physiological Arousal) and how it affects communication.

You will learn about how physiological distress can disrupt your thinking and block communication. You will learn skills for identifying if this is happening to you and your partners, and learn what to do about it.

Learn how to successfully complain to your partner (and be heard).

You will learn about healthy complaining and how to increase the chances that your complaints will be heard. Nobody is happy with everything their partner(s) do all of the time. But complaints need to be made (and heard) gently and with care. I'll show you how.

Learn how to have successful repair conversations after a fight.

You will learn a script for repairing and healing from a conflict with your partner(s). So many people get stuck arguing about what really happened or who is right in their memory of a conflict. I will teach you a better way to process a fight.

You will learn to map your most common problematic patterns and learn how to make some adjustments to them so both of you feel better.

You will learn how to identify key patterns that you and your partner(s) enact together and how to exit the problematic dance and learn a few new helpful dance moves. 

Course syllabus

6 live sessions • 7 modules • 4 lessons
Expand all modules

    4.7

    (3 ratings)

    What students are saying

    Meet your instructor

    Keely Kolmes (they/them)

    Keely Kolmes (they/them)

    I have been providing psychotherapy to relationship partners since 1997. I did my dissertation on assessing bias in mental health services to consensually kinky folx, which I published in 2003. It was later published in a journal. Since then, I founded Bay Area Open Minds (in 2009) which was established to affirm that sexual, gender, and relationship diversity are natural expressions of the human experience. I served as President of the organization for ten years.


    I have taught nationally to mental health professionals about understanding consensual BDSM at the American Psychological Association. I have published a peer reviewed paper on evidence-based treatments for a consensually non-monogamous couple.


    Most importantly, I have been working with people in many different relationship configurations for almost three decades, and it is the most fulfilling and rewarding work I do.


    It has been my longing and my dream to take this work out of the therapy office and into your living room to help teach these skills outside of a psychotherapy context.

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    Course schedule

    90 minutes every two weeks

    • Saturdays

      12pm - 1:30pm Eastern

      We will meet every two weeks, starting on Saturday, March 9th with our last session on Saturday, May 18th.

    • Course Dates

      12:00 - 1:30pm Eastern

      March 9, 2023

      March 23, 2023

      April 6, 2023

      April 20, 2023

      May 4, 2023

      May 18, 2023

    • Homework Practice

      45 - 60 minutes a week

      You will be given specific practice modules to try between sessions. The length of time will vary. Then you can come back with questions or troubleshooting. Doing this practice work will greatly accelerate your fluency in using these skills.

    Learning is better with cohorts

    Learning is better with cohorts

    Active hands-on learning

    This course builds on live workshops and hands-on projects

    Interactive and project-based

    You’ll be interacting with other learners through breakout rooms and project teams

    Learn with a cohort of peers

    Join a community of like-minded people who want to learn and grow alongside you

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Are you offering any discounts?
    Is the course price per person or per relationship?
    What happens if I can’t make a live session?
    What if I want more focused attention?
    I work full-time, what is the expected time commitment?
    What’s the refund policy?
    Who is a good fit for this course?
    Who isn't a good fit for this course?
    How else can I keep up with your Relationship updates?

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    What people are saying

            I have known Keely for over a decade and we consult on our work helping people improve their relationships. Keely's breadth of knowledge about sexual and relationship diversity, extensive experience helping people improve their communication and deepen their intimacy, paired with Keely’s warmth and humor enable them to be so helpful.
    Robin S. Rosenberg, Ph.D., ABPP

    Robin S. Rosenberg, Ph.D., ABPP

    Clinical Psychologist, Author, Assistant Clinical Professor-Volunteer, University of California San Francisco
            Keely is a highly respected colleague in the field of psychology. I’ve served on professional boards/committees with them and found them to be well-informed of research while able to educate others about relationship/gender diversity effectively. Their scholarly works have helped shape the field and I highly recommend them as a trainer.
    Michi Fu, Ph.D. 傅美蓁

    Michi Fu, Ph.D. 傅美蓁

    Licensed Psychologist, AAPA's Council Representative at APA and on the Advisory Committee for LIWP.
            Few compare to Keely’s warmth, thoughtfulness, and experience working with people across the gender and sexual spectrum. Their teaching, publications and professionalism make them one of my go-to consultants in sex and relationship therapy. Their dedication to community and their generosity have inspired me to to get involved in their projects.
    Akhila E. A. Kolesar, Ph.D. 

    Akhila E. A. Kolesar, Ph.D. 

    Clinical Psychologist, President Emerita, Bay Area Open Minds
            Teaching with Keely has been a great experience. They are careful, considerate and very thorough in preparing material for workshops and courses, and they engage the audience in way that puts the learners' questions and curiosity first.
    Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D.

    Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D.

    Department of Human Development and Women's Studies California State University, East Bay
            It has been a pleasure and an honor to teach and collaborate with Keely over the years. I’m consistently impressed by their warm and thoughtful engagement with the audience, and Keely’s lighthearted style is backed up by their world-class expertise and decades of experience. I continue to learn from Keely and strongly recommend them to others.
    Ryan G. Witherspoon, Ph.D.

    Ryan G. Witherspoon, Ph.D.

    Clinical Psychologist
            Since I met Keely in 2002, I have seen them show a strong professional commitment to understanding relationships and helping people improve them. For decades, they have demonstrated a deep respect for all forms of expression in gender, sexuality and relationship style, and a wide knowledge of the ways partners can build the strongest connections.
    Thomas S. Roche

    Thomas S. Roche

    Psy.D., Clinical Psychologist

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