Relationship Skills for All Genders and Orientations

4.9 (9)

11 Weeks

Cohort-based Course

Please join me to learn the best skills and interventions to keep your relationship(s) healthy and happy in this six part workshop.

Relationship Skills for All Genders and Orientations

4.9 (9)

11 Weeks

Cohort-based Course

Please join me to learn the best skills and interventions to keep your relationship(s) healthy and happy in this six part workshop.

Hosted by

Keely Kolmes (they/them)

Founder of Bay Area Open Minds (2009). Relationship therapist since 1997.

Keely Kolmes (they/them)

Founder of Bay Area Open Minds (2009). Relationship therapist since 1997.

Course overview

Why Repair Your Relationships When you Could Prepare for Relationships?!

I will teach you the best evidence-based skills and interventions to keep your relationships happy and healthy. You will practice these skills to develop good habits to prevent problems from spiraling and to keep the communication flowing in the right direction.

This first Module in my series is called “The Groundwork.” I will be teaching you how to do basic cleanup and regular fine-tuning on your communication, and what yellow or red flags to look out for.

You will learn along with others who are invested in improving their relationships and you will learn from me and we will learn from one another!

For people of all genders and orientations who want to learn the best relationship skills to improve and protect your relationship(s).

You are queer, poly, kinky, or transgender (or in a relationship with someone who identifies this way), and you want a safe learning space.

You are vanilla, monogamous, heterosexual, or cisgender and you are excited to work along with a diverse group of people.

You're in a new relationship & you want to keep the good stuff flowing! Or you're single and seeking tools to improve future relationships.

You are queer, poly, kinky, or transgender (or in a relationship with someone who identifies this way), and you want a safe learning space.

You are vanilla, monogamous, heterosexual, or cisgender and you are excited to work along with a diverse group of people.

You're in a new relationship & you want to keep the good stuff flowing! Or you're single and seeking tools to improve future relationships.

What you’ll get out of this course

Learn about Flooding (Diffuse Physiological Arousal) and how it affects communication.

You will learn about how physiological distress can disrupt your thinking and block communication. You will learn skills for identifying if this is happening to you and your partners, and learn what to do about it.

Learn how to successfully complain to your partner (and be heard).

You will learn about healthy complaining and how to increase the chances that your complaints will be heard. Nobody is happy with everything their partner(s) do all of the time. But complaints need to be made (and heard) gently and with care. I'll show you how.

Learn how to have successful repair conversations after a fight.

You will learn a script for repairing and healing from a conflict with your partner(s). So many people get stuck arguing about what really happened or who is right in their memory of a conflict. I will teach you a better way to process a fight.

You will learn to map your most common problematic patterns and learn how to make some adjustments to them so both of you feel better.

You will learn how to identify key patterns that you and your partner(s) enact together and how to exit the problematic dance and learn a few new helpful dance moves.

This course includes

6 interactive live sessions

Lifetime access to course materials

7 in-depth lessons

Direct access to instructor

Projects to apply learnings

Guided feedback & reflection

Private community of peers

Course certificate upon completion

Maven Satisfaction Guarantee

This course is backed by Maven’s guarantee. You can receive a full refund within 14 days after the course ends, provided you meet the completion criteria in our refund policy.

Course syllabus

Week 1

Aug 10—Aug 11

Aug

Session 1

Sat 8/104:00 PM—5:30 PM (UTC)

Program Orientation

1 item

Week 1 Syllabus & Materials

1 item

Week 2

Aug 12—Aug 18

Nothing scheduled for this week

Week 3

Aug 19—Aug 25

Aug

Session 2

Sat 8/244:00 PM—5:30 PM (UTC)

Week 2 Syllabus & Materials

1 item

Week 4

Aug 26—Sep 1

Nothing scheduled for this week

Week 5

Sep 2—Sep 8

Sep

Session 3

Sat 9/74:00 PM—5:30 PM (UTC)

Week 3 Syllabus & Materials

1 item

Week 6

Sep 9—Sep 15

Nothing scheduled for this week

Week 7

Sep 16—Sep 22

Sep

Session 4

Sat 9/214:00 PM—5:30 PM (UTC)

Week 4 Syllabus & Materials

1 item

Week 8

Sep 23—Sep 29

Nothing scheduled for this week

Week 9

Sep 30—Oct 6

Oct

Session 5

Sat 10/54:00 PM—5:30 PM (UTC)

Week 5 Syllabus & Materials

1 item

Week 10

Oct 7—Oct 13

Nothing scheduled for this week

Week 11

Oct 14—Oct 19

Oct

Session 6

Sat 10/194:00 PM—5:30 PM (UTC)

Week 6 Syllabus & Materials

1 item

4.9 (9 ratings)

What students are saying

Meet your instructor

Keely Kolmes (they/them)

I have been providing psychotherapy to relationship partners since 1997. I did my dissertation on assessing bias in mental health services to consensually kinky folx, which I published in 2003. It was later published in a journal. Since then, I founded Bay Area Open Minds (in 2009) which was established to affirm that sexual, gender, and relationship diversity are natural expressions of the human experience. I served as President of the organization for ten years.

I have taught nationally to mental health professionals about understanding consensual BDSM at the American Psychological Association. I have published a peer reviewed paper on evidence-based treatments for a consensually non-monogamous couple.

Most importantly, I have been working with people in many different relationship configurations for almost three decades, and it is the most fulfilling and rewarding work I do.

It has been my longing and my dream to take this work out of the therapy office and into your living room to help teach these skills outside of a psychotherapy context.

Be the first to know about upcoming cohorts

Relationship Skills for All Genders and Orientations

Get reimbursed Bulk purchases

Course schedule

90 minutes every two weeks

Saturdays
12pm - 1:30pm Eastern
We will meet every two weeks, starting on Saturday, August 10th with our last session on Saturday, October 19th.
Course Dates
12:00 - 1:30pm Eastern
August 10, 2024
August 24, 2024
September 7, 2024
September 21, 2024
October 5, 2024
October 19, 2024
Homework Practice
45 - 60 minutes a week
You will be given specific practice modules to try between sessions. The length of time will vary. Then you can come back with questions or troubleshooting. Doing this practice work will greatly accelerate your fluency in using these skills.

Free resource

Flooding & Relaxation

The first things I teach is to ID if you or your partner(s) are experiencing "Flooding" or DPA (diffuse physiological arousal). Research shows that if at least one of you is flooded, you are at high risk of breaking up (Gottman, 1993). Develop a signal for a time out and learn how to calm your system. I'm offering a free handout & 10 minute breathing relaxation that you can use to calm yourself. (Note: time outs should last at least 20 minutes to be effective, but this will get you get you started. You will also be added to my Relationship Skills e-list.

Grab my free download!

Learning is better with cohorts

Active hands-on learning

This course builds on live workshops and hands-on projects

Interactive and project-based

You’ll be interacting with other learners through breakout rooms and project teams

Learn with a cohort of peers

Join a community of like-minded people who want to learn and grow alongside you

Frequently Asked Questions

Stay in the loop

Be the first to know about upcoming cohorts

Relationship Skills for All Genders and Orientations

Get reimbursed Bulk purchases

What people are saying

I have known Keely for over a decade and we consult on our work helping people improve their relationships. Keely's breadth of knowledge about sexual and relationship diversity, extensive experience helping people improve their communication and deepen their intimacy, paired with Keely’s warmth and humor enable them to be so helpful.

Robin S. Rosenberg, Ph.D., ABPP

Clinical Psychologist, Author, Assistant Clinical Professor-Volunteer, University of California San Francisco

Keely is a highly respected colleague in the field of psychology. I’ve served on professional boards/committees with them and found them to be well-informed of research while able to educate others about relationship/gender diversity effectively. Their scholarly works have helped shape the field and I highly recommend them as a trainer.

Michi Fu, Ph.D. 傅美蓁

Licensed Psychologist, AAPA's Council Representative at APA and on the Advisory Committee for LIWP.

Few compare to Keely’s warmth, thoughtfulness, and experience working with people across the gender and sexual spectrum. Their teaching, publications and professionalism make them one of my go-to consultants in sex and relationship therapy. Their dedication to community and their generosity have inspired me to to get involved in their projects.

Akhila E. A. Kolesar, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist, President Emerita, Bay Area Open Minds

Teaching with Keely has been a great experience. They are careful, considerate and very thorough in preparing material for workshops and courses, and they engage the audience in way that puts the learners' questions and curiosity first.

Richard A. Sprott, Ph.D.

Department of Human Development and Women's Studies California State University, East Bay

It has been a pleasure and an honor to teach and collaborate with Keely over the years. I’m consistently impressed by their warm and thoughtful engagement with the audience, and Keely’s lighthearted style is backed up by their world-class expertise and decades of experience. I continue to learn from Keely and strongly recommend them to others.

Ryan G. Witherspoon, Ph.D.

Clinical Psychologist

Since I met Keely in 2002, I have seen them show a strong professional commitment to understanding relationships and helping people improve them. For decades, they have demonstrated a deep respect for all forms of expression in gender, sexuality and relationship style, and a wide knowledge of the ways partners can build the strongest connections.

Thomas S. Roche

Psy.D., Clinical Psychologist